Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Yeah, my kids fucked up my vagina

Yeah, I said it.
I pee my pants.
ALLTHEFUCKINGTIME!
I leak pee pretty much doing all the things.
You know the things that moms do, or really people in general.
(Yeah I hear you snickering bitch, guess what, I bet you pee a little too!)

While leakage is relatively normal, well not normal but the norm, I'm gonna bring you on my journey of how to get that shit fixed!

Today I met with a GYN who specializes in urology. Great office but I had to pee so bad, I almost pissed all over it.

Standard urine sample, no prob
Blood pressure, cool
Undress from the waist down, eh that's what he said
Oh I forgot, I've got to straight cath you to make sure your bladder is empty, wtf! This is getting serious.

That's all before I even met the doc!

Also, they make this lidocaine lube, my vag is still numb,

Anywhore,

So doc comes in, shakes my hand and gets down to business. And by down I mean she raises the table to her face height and feels me up for a long ass time, then tells me I have

Mixed inncontence
So that's 2 fucked up things,
Stress and urge.
Also that my muscles are "too tight" wtf? Awesome right? Not so fucking much I guess cause it makes me piss myself.
Also that my bladder is starting to prolapse.
Fucking awesome right? I've got a tight vag and an external bladder? Don't you wish you were that cool?

So get this, course of action?
PHYSICAL THERAPY, for my VAGINA!
This should be interesting.
I blame this on mayhem, she was born with shoulders like a linebacker, Also there is such a thing as too many kegals.





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