Tuesday, November 20, 2012

What dreams may come.....

This summer I had a chance encounter.

I met up with someone who I've always connected with, but didn't really know.
During the course of conversation we talked about dreams, not the dreams you have for your self or others, but the dreams that come when you are most vulnerable, when your guard is down, when sleep gets the best of you.

After my dad died, all I saw when I slept was the last moments of my dads life, on replay. It was terrible, and painful, and I would wake crying and confused. I used to pray ,

Dreams come swift and carry me away,
Please dear lord keep the nightmares away.

The dreamed slowly stopped, peace retuned to my dreams.

One day I was struggling, with life. With issues... And he came to me then, in my dream. It was disbelief. He was happy he was healthy and he was in my dreams because I needed him there. He held me and I could feel him, his strength, his warmth. He said he was there because he saw me struggle. He saw my pain. He was there because he loved me. It was as if it really happened.

Back to the beginning....

I shared this dream with my friend. And he shared a similar dream about his mom. At that moment I felt an amazing peace and calm. It was like we were destined to be at that moment sharing that story.

That was a turning point in my grief. I felt light hearted, unburdened. All because someone I knew, but didn't really know, shared a grief that, even though different, was very much as deep as my own.

I will be forever thankful for those small moments.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey