Thursday, March 8, 2012

Vagina Warfare.... That's what he said...

According to most men I’ve spoken with
men shouldn't have a say in what a woman does with/to her own body.
They can only offer opinion and support what ever SHE chooses.

From a dude who I used to know:
This topic irritates me. Mainly, because abortion makes me upset spiritually. Secondly, because without it, we would have even more fatherless children running around.  Lastly, because I am a man and what I know about women's bodies wouldn't fill a thimble.
Birth control should be free Using birth control should be less than optional. Let's say you are on TANF(temporary aid for needy families/cash from the state)  taking birth control should be mandatory
 It makes me sick that men control the laws the decided the fate of these two very important issues.
 (Birth control and abortion)
 The disproportionate amount of Men in the senate and congress having more say over a women's issue than actual women.
 (I AM) Pro choice
But that doesn't mean I like it.
Some fetuses are better off dead.
Parents are unfit.
 Child may be born with a disability.
 But those mothers have to answer to God at some point.
There is research out there that shows that roe v. wade lowered crime rates in the United States

Why is that? Not your body, not your choice? What about if it was your kid? What if Your wife decided today to not have the baby she is carrying?

If the child was going to have an extremely difficult life because of downs, or some chromosomal defect I would be for snorting the fetus

If that was the case and she was adamant against it? How would you feel? How have your views changed since becoming a father and a husband? And regarding your daughters’ rights to her own body?

If she were against it, I would accept it and deal with the consequences

But it is not the only point of view from men.
Another good friend had this to say, 
in a discussion about 
 article he posed

Me: As a believer in abortion, i find this seriously disturbing. As a mother, I feel outrage. Terrible.
         HIM: You believe in abortion? I'm sorry but I just don't see any way that abortion is right... Birth control is around for a reason.
ME: Birth controls fail... And it isn't just unwanted pregnancy, there is rape, maternal death risk, severe anatomical/gestational deformations. There are birth controls that promote abortion by the very definition
A miscarriage is called a “spontaneous abortion"
 There are many reasons for abortion, and rightly so. I can understand how you don't see it as a right or moral choice, but it is a choice you, your self personally will never have to make. As to the article in question this is not abortion, as the pregnancy has ended. This is murder.
HIM: I know it a choice I will never be able to make, the choice was made for me, my unborn child was aborted three months into the I guess I have strong views on the subject matter. But life is life, and is always precious in god eye's...
ME: I'm sorry for your very real loss. Strong views are an amazing thing. And you are correct all life is precious in Gods’ eyes. But God is good, God is forgiving. I do not believe that by choosing abortion god will shun me, but embrace and forgive me,.
HIM: You are right god forgives all those who ask forgiveness and believe in him, he will not shun you if you repent...but That doesn't make it right in any way. And thank you, I have many strong views, and this is one of them:)

My question now is this...
Which of these two men are right?
The man who would support his wife and daughter?
The man who has suffered the loss of his child?
If/when you choose for your self,
does your what your
feel, think, or want matter?

Friday, March 2, 2012

Stirring the pot.... Abortion story

   This is not an easy read
 if you are offended easily 
please skip this post.

 ****** This is not my story, this is a story from an amazing woman, mother and wife********
                    This was not an easy story for her to tell, please save your judgement.


I'm pro choice, I think the only one who gets to make a decision about a woman's body is the woman herself.

A couple months after I turned 15,
 I was pressured into having an abortion by my boyfriend at the time
his and my own mother.
Eventually I was literally forced by the Planned Parenthood clinic I went to
 (yes, was horrible and traumatic).
After that, abortion has never been something that I would ever choose for myself.
I still think women should have the right to decide what is right for them.
 I just think that women should really make sure they educate themselves on the process, and the after effects, such as depression. I know some girls that were so messed up in the head from having an abortion that they went right back out and got knocked up to make them selves feel better.
Its not an easy choice to make,
 or cope with.

Planned Parenthood.
I showed up at the clinic with my Mom.
 I was so pressured into it, I felt defeated, and felt like I had no choice.
To my Mother, I was a 'whore', and it was said that if I didn't have an abortion I would kicked out.
 So of course I sit and think
 "I'm 15, I can't go to school AND work and provide my a place, food, clothes, and everything else for me and a baby all by myself... what am I supposed to do?"

So there we are at the clinic, and they call me back, I hated my Mom so of course I told her I didn't want her going with me. So I go back, they tell me to change into a gown and they'd be right with me. So I change, and I'm sitting in their cold room on the table waiting. And while I'm waiting I'm hearing this girl in the other room screaming bloody murder, because she too, was having an abortion.
Come to find out, she was having an abortion at almost 6 months pregnant.
 They finally came in, have me lie down, tell me to relax, which of course if can't relax after you've just heard screaming, knowing that you're about to go through the same thing. My thoughts are racing and I'm suddenly like
"this isn't right, I can't do this, I can't make it work somehow, I just don't want to be here doing this"
 and I say
 " I don't want to do this"
 to them, and look over and they already have this HUGE, and I mean a good 8-10" needle all ready to go for me which upon administering, instantly starts contractions so they can open up your cervix and...well, do what they have to do.
 So I literally tell them
"no, I don't want to do this anymore, let me go out of here"
and they literally told me
 "No sweetie, 
I know you're scared but this is what's best"
three people held me down, administered the injection and the next thing I remember is crying and hearing a vacuum. The last thing I remember is sitting in a recovery area, almost incoherent and a nurse coming over and giving me a Depo Provera shot (which, I never ever EVER said I wanted. I didn't even know what it was). I know it sounds crazy, but it really happened. After that, I had to stay home from school for two days.
 December 12th 1997 will forever be in the back of my mind.
That, and the fact that had things went the way I wanted, I'd have a 15 year old child..
What's interesting, is to this day, I never told my own mother what happened that day. I don't think I spoke to her for days afterwards. I don't think she could have handled what I went through...
what she coerced me into doing.
And what's even better, is not even a week after my abortion, my boyfriend, the 'would be' father says
"I wonder what the baby would have looked like, I kind of wish we kept it."
What's worse, is he had a big mouth, and told one of his friends what happened, and that friend (a girl) went around and told the whole high school. I had people that even you probably know, threaten to shoot me (right in the middle of class in front of teachers) because that's what I deserved after being a 'whore who kills babies'. Ugh... I swear to God my life is like a really fucked up Lifetime movie. And this isn't even the half of it

All of THAT being said,
and you may find this odd,
I still went to Planned Parenthood later on in my life.
I don't think by any means that all abortion clinics treat you that way.
 I sincerely think it was that clinic at THAT time.
 If it weren't for Planned Parenthood, so many girls would go without BC, and so many more unwanted babies would be born. Not to mention, for women like me, who don't have health insurance, its a necessity for my reproductive health.
 One of the IUD's that I had, they provided me with at no cost.
 Thank God too,
because I'm more fertile than anyone I know.


I first of all want to say, thank you for sharing this story, i know how hard it is to tell this story.
I admire your courage. 
One of the things that is left out of the 
argument is 
think that as women,
 making this decision is easy, 
that we feel it is without consequence.
In fact it is the exact opposite,
and OUR consequence
 is just that.
It's not an easy choice, 
it's often regrettable,
but then again, 
sometimes so is having a child.
Being FORCED to carry a child,
because there is no other option.
being FORCED to have an abortion,
because someone thinks you are incapable
or you think you are incapable.
It's the same kind of evil.

What do you think? 
How does it make you feel in your gut?
This isn't a pretty story because it's not supposed be.
It's not an easy read,
And it shouldn't be.
This is a struggle that many women face.
Real women.
Not some man in a suit, not a politician.
What gives anyone else a say in what women do with their own bodies.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Stirring the pot.... Vagina Warfare


I've been thinking and planning this post for a while, 
a little less random, 
a little more 

What is the country coming to when 
we as women do not stand up for our rights to our own bodies?
more to come...
I will be posting an
Why she still supports Planned ParentHood
Why what I say doesn't matter
It's not what you think it is.