Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Giving thanks, adoption story questions answered:)

Today I am giving thanks to my birth parents. 
Thank you for loving me enough to let me go, 
and loving me for who I have become.

If you haven't read my adoption story
you can read

These are a few of the questions I was asked

1. Does your mother read your blog?
This was asked by an anonymous comment-er, so i was unable to ask if they meant my Birth mother or my Adoptive mother... My Birth mother does read my blog and comment, I do not know if my adoptive mother reads this, i do however have many family members who do, my adoptive brother, grandmother ext..

2. What was your parents' reaction to you wanting to find your birth parents?
My dad didn't really have a reaction, he just asked me if I was happy, and to him that was all that mattered. My mom, reacted a little differently, at first she was nervous, then a little spiteful. She tried to encourage me to meet them, but kind of backhandedly.. "If that was so important for you to find them, meeting them should be easy" she said.. so not true. She likes to tell the story her way, and share it even though it is not HER story to tell or share. That to me was extremely upsetting and it felt like a complete violation of my trust and privacy.

3. Is it awkward?
This question is really a yes and no kinda answer. 
Yes, building any relationship is awkward at times.. It is weird to be an outsider, trying to find a place where you could possibly fit into a family who never knew you existed.  I am sure for Neal and Shawnal it is equally awkward to get to know me as an adult and then to read my blog and get glimpses into why I am who I am.
and no, because it all seems as it was meant to be, all the words seem to come easy, and I feel so much a part of their world and family. I have been able to talk to all three of my brothers, a few aunts, and even a great aunt. Every one is very thankful, and completely accepting of me. It is amazing the amount of love this experience has brought into my life.
The first time i was called "Sister" weird.

4.What similarities have you found that you have with your biological parents despite not being raised by them?
This is probably my favorite question, and one of the most asked:) 
Shawna and I share a TON of personality traits,  procrastination, snarkyness, we are both hard headed and stubborn, quick to protect what we hold dear. Shawna calls it "the warrior mentality", we both have severe ADHD.. in fact this post has taken me weeks to freaking finish.. she made up a word, smartassiness.. it fits.
Neal and I are both vivid dreamers and master procrastinators(i was doomed on productivity from the beginning) , we have the same eyes.. its so weird to actually really look like someone. We are both loyal to a fault.
Apparently my brothers and i are all very alike, i share many personality traits with them,  we are all smartasses, hilarious, fierce, apparently the oldest brother and I have nearly identical thought processes, we both know about that the one thing, that happened that one time, that everyone else seemed to miss. We are ALWAYS right.. Shawna says, Adamant in our rightness... its cause we are GENIUSES! and we talk.. A LOT. She says there is a "sharpness"  to the humor we all share.  
I think there are a ton of things we share, and it is still very new. 

5.Did you go to the wedding?!
Unfortunately NO, I was unable to make the trip. My brother did however send me pictures in real time. 
This is a photo at the wedding of my birth family.
Sorry boys for not asking permission.


 6. I wanted to know if you've gotten to meet your birth parents yet or not?
this is THE most asked question, I was hoping by the time I wrote this i would be able to answer YES. 
But I'm afraid the answer is no, I have not met them face to face... yet. 
My hope for the New Year is that i will get to meet them all in 2012.
Until then, its phone calls, emails, Facebook and letters. 

Thank you All for reading this very special story.
I promise i will write more.